To Heal A Shattered Heart
by rubydesires
Summary: When Alex loses Erissa, Lassie's there to help her through it.


**AN:** I can't remember why I wrote this one. Anyway, I like it. Also, I don't own Erissa. That would be my fellow Shassie fanatic. And I don't own the Psych peeps. Obviously. Wish I did, but I don't. Alex, however, is aaaaallllll mine. Sometimes, though, she wishes I didn't because I'm not a very nice mistress sometimes. xD

**xxxxx**

Lassiter looked up from his desk when he heard the chief call his name.

"Can I speak to you in my office, please?" she asked when she had his attention.

Lassiter nodded and stood, casting a glance to his partner. Juliet gave him a sympathetic look. After he entered Vick's office, she gestured for him to take a seat.

"How is she?" Vick asked once he was in the chair.

Lassiter gave a one shoulder shrug. "She's quiet. She hardly eats. I don't know how much longer she's going to last." He hated how flat and empty his voice was, but her condition was taking its toll on him.

"Shawn hasn't been able to do anything for her?"

"No one has."

"Where is she now?"

"She's at my house." Lassiter paused. "Well, she was when I left this morning."

"Take today off. Take however long you need to get her back together. And please don't leave her alone in your house. You have guns stashed all over the place."

"It's not her shooting herself I'm afraid of," Lassiter said as he stood and left.

**xxx**

Lassiter looked at his best friend sadly. Alex was curled up on his couch, a bottle of alcohol held loosely in her hand.

That was what he was afraid of. That she'd drink herself into oblivion.

Which was why he had locked and hidden all the alcohol.

Lassiter walked into the kitchen and found the small box on the counter. Alex had shot the lock off, and left the handgun on the counter next to it. He smiled bitterly. Alex shooting herself was the least of his worries.

The detective reentered the living room and took the empty bottle from her. Once the glass left her hand, her bloodshot eyes snapped open and she glared at him.

"Give it back," she slurred.

"It's empty."

"Then I'll get another one." Alex stood, over balanced, and would have hit the floor if Lassiter hadn't caught her.

"Spencer, how much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough," she mumbled. "It still hurts. Some drink to remember. Some drink to forget."

"And why do you drink?"

"I drink so I can't feel anything. I don't want to remember. I don't want to forget. I just want to stop existing." Alex collapsed against him and started crying. "Lass, I miss her so much. And it's all my fault!"

Lassiter tightened his hold on her. "Shhh, it's not your fault. We couldn't have gotten there any faster than we did."

"She shouldn't have been put in that position in the first place! I was supposed to protect her!"

"Alex, we didn't know it was him."

"I should've known. All the signs were there, and I fucked up, and now she's gone!"

Lassiter had already had this discussion with her. All the evidence pointed to Marks, and that was who they went after. There was nothing that pointed to Berk, and it wasn't until Berk took Erissa that they knew they had the wrong guy. There were no signs that Lassiter could see, and Shawn had gone over every shred of evidence to see if he could find anything. Shawn had told him there were, but they were so circumstantial and miniscule, it wouldn't have mattered.

"Oh, God, there was so much blood," Alex said quietly. "My beautiful Ris, pale and cold, gone forever. Why does this happen to me, Carlton? What did I do?"

Lassiter didn't have an answer for her. Instead, he set her back on the couch and got her another drink.

**xxx**

The next couple of weeks were the same. Lassiter had Alex stay at his place so he could keep an eye on her. He let her drink, but he was slowly cutting her back on it. For the most part, she didn't talk much, and she'd eat when he told her to. Lassiter didn't know what he was supposed to do, but Alex seemed content with him just being there, so that's all he did.

"Lass?" she asked one morning when she followed him into the kitchen.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

Lassiter furrowed his brow in confusion and looked at her. "For what?"

"For . . ." Alex shrugged as her voice trailed off. "For this. You should be at work, catching the bad guys, but you're here, taking care of a basket case."

Lassiter let out a sigh and pulled her into a hug. "Alex, you're my best friend. I'd rather be here and making sure you're safe. Juliet's a good cop. She can handle the work load. Besides, she's your friend, too, and she wants you to be okay. You don't need to be sorry; you just need to get better." He felt her relax and smile.

"Know what will make me better?"

"What?"

"A pineapple."

Lassiter laughed softly. "You and Shawn with your damn pineapples."

"But, Lassifrass, they're delicious. And magical."

"Fine, I'll go get you a damn pineapple," he growled, but she seemed to be returning to her old self, so he was more than willing to do it. He held her at arms length, and looked her over. She looked like crap, her hair a limp mess, and her face was drawn and pale, making the dark circles around her eyes seem even darker. "You'll still be here when I get back?" he asked, worried.

Alex gave a lazy salute and Lassiter left.

**xxx**

After her pineapple fix, Alex was doing better. She'd talk more and Lassiter had found her riffling through the fridge over the past few days. He'd give her about three more days and then they'd both be back at work.

On the third day, Lassiter woke up to the sound of a shower running in the guest bathroom. He glanced at the clock. The LED lights read 6:00, and he wasn't supposed to get up for another thirty minutes.

Alex was never up before he was.

Lassiter was never one to follow his gut, finding hard evidence much more comforting than a feeling, but, as the Spencer cousins would put it, he was getting a bad vibe. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Lassiter snuck down to the bathroom. The feeling got worse when he saw the door was open, and he took a moment to listen for any movement before he stuck his head in.

**xxx**

Lassiter had read the words so many times; he could recite them in his sleep. He had found the suicide note by the sink after he had called for an ambulance. He knew she was dead, her wrists slit, and the blood down the drain, but it was what he had to do. He stood by as they pulled his best friend, her body freezing from both the water and her death, and zip her up in a body bag.

Juliet took in a steadying breath as the coroner loaded Alex's body in the van. "How are you?" she asked her partner.

Lassiter shrugged. "As well as I could be. I thought she was getting better."

"What did the note say?"

Lassiter handed her the piece of paper.

_My dearest Lassifrass,_

_You are the bestest friend a girl could ask for. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to recover, but no amount of alcohol and pineapple can heal a shattered heart. I think I may have died the same time Ris did, but my body just hadn't gotten the memo yet. I wish you the happiest of days, and know I'll be watching over you. Assuming I haven't gone to hell, that is. Either way, I want you to remember that I love you, and you are my comrade, soul brother, and fellow trigger happy detective. I want to thank you for everything you've done for me, and everything we had._

_All my love,_

_Alex_


End file.
